swimming in a toilet

Before I get to this terrible event, I must explain how awesome my step father is and was at any fucking sport. This guy played for LSU ,Tulane, and UNO. Mostly a great basketball player but also great at baseball ,softball,darts,horse shoes,choke slamming people at bars, and most importantly one of the best coaches next to Nick Saban. The man has ten horse shoe tournament titles under his belt.Not a Big deal right? Wrong bitches. How about a state championship in basketball?

Step father would play in these softball leagues and we would all go see him play as a family. My step brother closest to me in age would find all kinds of trouble for us to get into. He would point out the crazy shit and my dumb ass would go do it. We were a team that basically fucked shit up. If something broke it was most likely us that did it and we knew hell was coming our way but it was worth it. These softball tournaments were always way the fuck away from where we lived. As a kid I thought we were all going to play in fucking New Zealand or something....

We finally arrive at "middle of nowhere" and we immediately start finding things to fuck up and people to piss off. After exploring and being complete assholes we decide to go pee in a puddle that's in the middle of the parking lot. Why not go pee in the bathroom? Because we are assholes that's why. Later on that day we decide to throw the football while all the games are going on. It's almost time to go and it's a long ass drive back home and guess what happens? Yeah I fall in the puddle that me and my step brother peed in. Talk about being embarrassed and smelling like complete bum,homeless,put some money in my cup,worthless bastard. The worst part of the whole trip was that i had to sit all the way at the end of the van behind the second row seat while my two step brothers and my step sister laughed at my expense. I didn't care about that part too much cause they laughed at how much of a tard i was all of the time. The fact that I was now rosa parking it all the way in the back didn't really upset me too much either.

The ride home we always had different snacks for the trip and we all played gameboy,read books,or ate snacks. These bastards break out the cereal and tell me I can't have any cause they don't want pee in their cereal. Instead of actually peeing in their cereal I just sat my homeless ass in the back. I forgot what cereal it was but remember batman cereal?......

4th and 10

Ok so I just got the wifi password from the dumb bitch that needs a cunt punt .That's right I have the balls to write about this bitch on her Internet right now. She sucks so bad I had to ask for her wifi password so I could explain why she needs a cunt punt so badly. The bitch said she wasn't sure what it was but it's OK I figured it out cause having your wifi password all the same number isn't really a password it's like waving a sign that screams I should wear a helmet to work everyday. Not just any helmet I'm talking about the George Clooney leather head helmet. Why that helmet? Because that helmet make you look extra tard.

What's a cunt punt? I'm glad you crazy bastards asked. The funny thing about a cunt punt is that my step brother sent a funny cartoon picture of girl getting kicked in the whisker muffin on twitter to his cousin and I saw it on there and laughed out loud. (Lofuckingl).

Ok back to this bitch that sucks at everything in life. This dumb bitch after dating my friend for years moves on and dates this new guy that does gay porn. You can't make this shit up. Unbelievable. Wait it gets better. He's not hooking up with guys he's playing with his junk in front of a computer for a guy website and this bitch thinks yeah this guy's the one! This guy is a bouncer at a club too. So after a good rub and tug and fist bumping he proceeds to be all he can be. Sounds like a great future right?

So I stay with my girlfriend tonight thinking we can cook and watch house of cards maybe a little in and out action as my old used car manager put it. He said man you know behind the green door is a great in and out. I said man what the fuck is an in and out? I've heard of the in and out burger on the big lebowski before. He says you know in and out and motions sexual movements. This dude has a stomach that looks like it's holding about 12 fetuses inside it and has a bald head and loves Fred couples. I'm laughing pretty hard at this point. Ok back to the bitch. Sorry guys I have terrible A.D.D. So I walk in and the bitch roommate who dates guys that do gay porn is saying she needs her deposit on the apartment and there are some spots on the carpet. Then says she needs to live on her own. She says this after my girlfriend says she's moving out sooner than later cause she told her weeks ago that the dog had to go all of the sudden. My girlfriend stays at that apartment maybe five times a month pays half of everything and yep you guessed it..... It's fourth and ten people. It's time for a cunt punt! I don't support or condone domestic violence so my girlfriend needs to give this cunt a punt cause it's fourth and ten on her own one yard line. I don't have patience and if I were a girl I would have said look you insecure fake lip having, nose job needing, boob job saving you from being a 5 out of ten, paid under ten dollars an hour til you turn 50 cocksmoke! You and your gay boyfriend can go give Sandusky a reach around.

Deuces mothafucka! I'm outta this bitch and pee on the floor at the same time with the dog and say look I think this spot is definitely the worst spot. Under the sink there is a bottle of carpet cleaner so you can clean it. As soon as the bitch bends over to get it... Well come on you know it ends with the cunt getting the punt.

skittles

OK first of all, how about a year's worth of free advertising! That's what skittles got from the Trayvon Martin case. Before I give my opinion on the actual case I wanna know if Martin's family gets any advertising money from Skittles since they got completely teabagged on the verdict.


This country is gun crazy so I'm not even going there with anti gun laws but I will dive into what happened that night and what happened to the country when it went down. To begin with, people die everyday in our country from guns whether its from self defense,murder,theft,rape, or all of that shit at the same time.(chill out o.j.) The reason this trial went to the media is because 2 different races of humans were involved in this self defense/murder.

First of all this Zimmerman asshole is a neighborhood watch guy that thought he was the law. Remember Judge Dredd? As a kid I liked that movie. Sylvester Stallone said "I am the law" but the way he said it was great. The way Stallone talks is all in one syllable: "iamthelaw". So I have a stupid question. How the fuck is this guys last name Zimmerman? It should be known this guy thought of himself as a futuristic cowboy that was itching to gun someone down. The problem is that he gunned down a child and on top of that, a fucking child of another race.(now the media wants in on it) I think the media ruined some of the case (not all of it) just like the Casey Anthony trial. That cunt(Can't Understand Normal Thinking) killed her own child. The bitch googled cloraform about 60 times,had duct tape in her trunk of her car, and didn't report the poor kid missing until 30 days later. The TARD jury let the bitch go just like this case. The neighborhood watch Zimmerman asshole calls 911 and says this guy looks "suspicious". 911 operator says stand down do not pursue him. So what does Judge Dredd do? He says "iamthelaw" and kills a 17 year old kid that is 100 pounds lighter than he is. Keep in mind that fat fuck Zimmerman also has mma training, security training, and had to shoot and kill a kid that looked threatening? So the jury lets this guy off? I don't believe these two jurys have full functional brain activity. Did the gun kill Trayvon? I think owning a gun to protect yourself is a right we all have. This kid that was way smaller had to be shot dead? Why not shoot him in the leg until the cops show up? Why was he shot again? O yeah cause he was suspicious? Was it cause of a hoody? Was it cause he was black? Who knows? Zimmerman knows why but I hope he gets ass cancer and I hope the entire jurys of both trials all get herpes and aids. Below I have a picture of the jury. They all look like this: HEY YOU GUYS!