burn this motha down! red rum! red rum!

Just about every other saturday they have ufc fights. We usually watch the fights and the college football games. We all play beer pong and darts at my house.Usually outside,under my carport. We play music just loud enough where the cops won't come harass us. Kevin was with us not too long ago and it was the night Lsu lost to georgia. It was an early game so we were already pissed off. After the fights ended we started our beer pong and darts. For darts I always play with Jordan. We very rarely lose. For beer pong I play with anyone. We don't play on some small crappy table. Instead we all play beer pong on a ping pong table. Regulation size bitches. Games last longer and it requires more skill. We all belong in the beer pong olympics ok?!

We play darts and beer pong til 3 sometimes 4 am. Kevin left and came back later on that night and we played beer pong and lost two and won one. At the end of the night I told Kevin about the guy that owns the subdivision we all live in. The guy that owns south park circle is a huge asshole. Between my house and Kris house there is a lot that one more house can fit in south park circle. The dickhead builder was told by the owner of the sub divsion to pour the driveway concrete where it cuts into my yard! The next day I asked the builder why the hell he puts concrete that cuts into my land! The concrete is now in front of my house for the new houses driveway! The builder said he thinks its stupid but he's going to fit another house next to the one he is building between our houses!

Of course Kevin drops what he's doing and walks across the street like he wants to kill someone. He has the look on his face like it's time to burn this motha down! At first I thought he was going to burn down the house. The best way to burn up your car or house(make sure you have gap if it's not paid for) is to use rubbing alcohol because it evaporates. The fire fighters will have a field day guessing who or what burned this motha down. It's not a good idea to get Kevin excited when he's wasted cause people get hurt. This dude jumps in his truck and drives in the new house's driveway. After looking at me with his patented redrum here's Johnny look, he burns his tires from the carport all the way to the street as slow as he possibly can. Let's not forget it's 3 am. We all run inside as every light in the subdivision gets turned on. About 6 of us are in my living room with the lights off watching this animal nascar his way through the driveway. The driveway at this point has to be effed in the a but we don't want to deal with the fuzz so we stay inside laughing. A hard long 7 minutes goes by and he finally stops burning his tires bald. The mma fighter three houses down walks out and says what the hell is going on to Kevin. Kevin tells the guy go back to sleep you didn't see shit! Everyone's mouth is still open and can't believe what just happened. We all start laughing talking about how pissed the builder is going to be on monday. About two minutes later I realize that just two days ago I was asking the builder why the driveway cut through my yard. I'm screwed now! He will think it was me for sure!

randi russo wdsu news

Every year Hammond has their own version of hot august nights. It's alot of music, food, and fun for everyone. Downtown Hammond is the spot where all of the madness goes down. People can get together for the cooking side of it or just go out and drink. I have been a few times and had a great time. The bars are usually filled with all kinds of people. The parking really blows so get there at a decent hour or prepare to walk a good bit. A great spot to relax and drink or eat is tope la. Its a nice restaurant with great food and a nice bar. I met up with some friends to get some appetizers and drink at the bar. Once everyone shows up at Tope la, its time to get white girl wasted. Instead of bar hopping we decide to stay at this bar and catch up with each other.

Here comes the part where wdsu acts like I'm messing up their night. This bar has a very long counter on it with many chairs. We have about 15 people altogether and growing. Some of us are standing and drinking,while others are sitting at the bar. Randi Russo decides she is going to steal my chair as I'm standing in front of it. I didn't move away from my chair I stood up to wave to someone. So Randi goofy looking bitch Russo steals my chair and I tell her I was sitting there. Instead of saying O I'm sorry I thought this chair was free she acts all cunty and says O it's looks like you need it more than I do! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Randi my shit don't stink effing Russo basically tells me I'm too fat and need the chair more than she does? She is from Ponchatoula, which is about a mile away from Hammond, so I'm guessing she feels at home telling me to go fuck myself in front of everyone. I don't take the chair I walked away from it. Randi needs to be told off on camera while she airs live. It looks like she's done for the evening, so it's time for some plan b. Not oops I don't want a baby plan b, I'm talking a plan to let her know how much of an asshole she is. I'm usually an asshole in most situations, but this time I didn't say anything mean to her for her to talk to me in the mean way she did. A few drinks later I tell my friends about Randi and her attitude problem and they all think it's hilarious. I didn't know who she was at the time but everyone said she's from here and she's on the news every night. I said I don't give a shit where she is from or what tv show she acts like a fake bitch on. I'm gonna put this mean bitch in her place before I leave. About an hour later they all say let's go out somewhere. I have some unfinished business with attitude problem bitch before I leave. As we walk out I wlak past her and say excuse me mini van hair cut looking bitch your chair is still open! Then I left and didn't look back.

LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU RANDI RUSSO......YOU LOOK LIKE PACMAN AND BETTY BOOP COMBINED WITH DOWNS SYNDROME. YOU THINK I NEED A CHAIR? BITCH YOU NEED A FACE TRANSPLANT AND A HAIR CUT NOT FROM 1992. DO ME A FAVOR AND GO BACK TO TOPE LA AND FIND THAT CHAIR AND SIT IN IT. AFTER YOU SIT IN THE CHAIR, ASK THE BAR TENDER FOR A BLIMMET SHOT. IT'S GONNA TASTE JUST LIKE YOUR HAIRCUT. OLD AND SHITTY. WDSU NEEDS TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASK THEMSLEVES TWO QUESTIONS.
1. DOES RANDI RUSSO AND HER SORRY ASS ATTITUDE REPRESENT WDSU AND THEIR VIEWS?
2. WILL RANDI RUSSO TO DO A REPORT ON HER FIRST BLIMMET SHOT IN HER CHAIR THAT HAS HER NAME ON IT AT TOPE LA?

saints vs cardinals front row

So my neighbor has a crazy brother that is just as hilarious as himself. Kevin has Saints season tickets and they are front row lower level. I've never been that close to the field and Kevin invited me the day before. Kevin drives worse than my brother so I offered to drive. I don't know how but we made it there just in time for the game. We were right where the players come running out of the tunnel. Getting to see Drew Brees up close was amazing. The game starts and I'm going nuts watching the players up close. Everytime the Saints get a first down, Kevin drags his arm across all of us and we all have to give him a high five or he flips out!

After the first quarter ends, Kevin says hey man lets go outside to the designated cigarette smoking area. I don't smoke cigarettes anymore so I'm pissed off. I tell Kevin he's crazy for missing this game over a fucking cigarette! How can we leave the game for a stupid cigarette? Kevin tells me to shut the fuck up and go with him. I figure that we will be right back after one cigarette so who cares. We get to this smoking area and there are about two hundred people outside smoking cigarettes like they are on death row! At this point i feel like i have ciarettes in every hole of my body.(even my butthole) I said eff it man I might as well smoke one also. ALL OF THESE ASSHOLES(not just a few) smoke back to back cigarettes like they are waiting to find out if they have aids or cancer. As a matter of a fact, at this moment it feels like I'm in China trying to get out of the smog pollution. After cursing out Kevin 3 times we finally get back to the game. We pretty much missed the whole damn 2nd quarter. The rest of the game was great. I didn't get teabagged into going to the smokers convention the 3rd and 4th quarter.

After the game he says let's go party! I said hell yeah lets's go! We go to bourbon and start drinking. At this point Kevin starts getting hammered and wants to keep going and going. The saints game started at noon, which gave me plenty of time to have fun and get Kevin back home at a decent hour right? Wrong bitches. This guy wanted to party til the next morning. We both had work the next day so I started on him early. I said hey kevin lets go back home to watch the sunday night game. Kevin says ok one more beer. Now I know he's full of crap and I'm guessing on getting home for about midnight against my will. I start watching the sunday night game at the bar with my light up blue cup. About 15 minutes later I look over to find Kevin talking to a girl that looks like shrek. Her friend was gross too. I laugh at first then go to save him. He doesn't want to be saved and they both ask me if he is gay. They said he keeps telling them that he loves cock. I bust out laughing and pull him to the side and ask him if he's retarded. They don't believe him and keep saying there is no way your friend is gay. They both start kissing him and I'm just laughing. This guy picks up girls by telling them he's queer and loves cock! We finally leave after he has a  threeway kiss with the gross girls.

The next day Kris finds me on the Saints website. Someone that works for the Saints took our picture. Here I am looking like I love weiners in my mouth. Pretty embarrassing picture but I was screaming for my team.

Look at Kevin on the left. Crazy bastard wore that jersey to the superbowl when the saint went all the way. He hasn't washed it since. It has more stains on it than Michael jackson's Never Never Land.