saints vs cardinals front row

So my neighbor has a crazy brother that is just as hilarious as himself. Kevin has Saints season tickets and they are front row lower level. I've never been that close to the field and Kevin invited me the day before. Kevin drives worse than my brother so I offered to drive. I don't know how but we made it there just in time for the game. We were right where the players come running out of the tunnel. Getting to see Drew Brees up close was amazing. The game starts and I'm going nuts watching the players up close. Everytime the Saints get a first down, Kevin drags his arm across all of us and we all have to give him a high five or he flips out!

After the first quarter ends, Kevin says hey man lets go outside to the designated cigarette smoking area. I don't smoke cigarettes anymore so I'm pissed off. I tell Kevin he's crazy for missing this game over a fucking cigarette! How can we leave the game for a stupid cigarette? Kevin tells me to shut the fuck up and go with him. I figure that we will be right back after one cigarette so who cares. We get to this smoking area and there are about two hundred people outside smoking cigarettes like they are on death row! At this point i feel like i have ciarettes in every hole of my body.(even my butthole) I said eff it man I might as well smoke one also. ALL OF THESE ASSHOLES(not just a few) smoke back to back cigarettes like they are waiting to find out if they have aids or cancer. As a matter of a fact, at this moment it feels like I'm in China trying to get out of the smog pollution. After cursing out Kevin 3 times we finally get back to the game. We pretty much missed the whole damn 2nd quarter. The rest of the game was great. I didn't get teabagged into going to the smokers convention the 3rd and 4th quarter.

After the game he says let's go party! I said hell yeah lets's go! We go to bourbon and start drinking. At this point Kevin starts getting hammered and wants to keep going and going. The saints game started at noon, which gave me plenty of time to have fun and get Kevin back home at a decent hour right? Wrong bitches. This guy wanted to party til the next morning. We both had work the next day so I started on him early. I said hey kevin lets go back home to watch the sunday night game. Kevin says ok one more beer. Now I know he's full of crap and I'm guessing on getting home for about midnight against my will. I start watching the sunday night game at the bar with my light up blue cup. About 15 minutes later I look over to find Kevin talking to a girl that looks like shrek. Her friend was gross too. I laugh at first then go to save him. He doesn't want to be saved and they both ask me if he is gay. They said he keeps telling them that he loves cock. I bust out laughing and pull him to the side and ask him if he's retarded. They don't believe him and keep saying there is no way your friend is gay. They both start kissing him and I'm just laughing. This guy picks up girls by telling them he's queer and loves cock! We finally leave after he has a  threeway kiss with the gross girls.

The next day Kris finds me on the Saints website. Someone that works for the Saints took our picture. Here I am looking like I love weiners in my mouth. Pretty embarrassing picture but I was screaming for my team.

Look at Kevin on the left. Crazy bastard wore that jersey to the superbowl when the saint went all the way. He hasn't washed it since. It has more stains on it than Michael jackson's Never Never Land.