This is the house I grew up in. I lived on the left side and my uncle lived on the right side. When I was in High school, my parents loved to go stay in Mississippi on the weekends. They usually made me go with them. When I turned 15 years old it was time for me to get a job. My fat ass decided to work at Papa john's pizza.
This was my reason to stay home for the weekend while my parents went to mississippi for the weekends. This particular time I told them I had to work on friday. Yeah, so go ahead without me, I'll watch the house.(small party)
At the time I had no idea that my uncle would also be out of town! Fuck yeah!(BIG PARTY)
After work on friday, it finally sunk in that they were gone for the whole weekend! I could throw a huge party and clean up in time for sunday night when they got back. My friend Ted helped me set everything up. Not the stuffed animal Ted. This guy Ted was the sneaky kind of guy that would quietly end up hooking up with every girl in the party before the night was over. Even the girls with boyfriends lol.
Jason was the craziest friend that I've ever had. You think I don't give a shit? This guy decided to screw me over big time. I'm taking a shower to get ready for the party. The doors in my house were hoop-ass. I'm talking about the most hoop-ass doors I've ever seen in my life. The doors were accordion. These doors didn't lock! Anyone could bust in there and take mega-huge craps while you take a smelly shower!
Remember those stickers on vehicles that had the guy peeing on the brand they hated? Well Jason decided it was time to pee on me instead of Toyota. After preparing the house for the party, I take a shower. This guy decides to open the shower curtain, and just pees on me like R Kelly! He's standing outside of the shower laughing and peeing with one hand,while the other hand is holding the shower curtain open so I can't close it.At this point and time, I have two choices. Choice number one is jump out of the shower, get pee everywhere, and fight him. Choice two is let the shower water rinse off the pee,(eventually the pee will end), rinse again cause that's gross, then chase him down for the kill.
Jason ran out of the house and down the street as fast as he could. I had to grab something to throw at him to take him out. I lost my control, my temper, and little sanity I have. I opened my freezer and grabbed a frozen mug. Jason looked back and saw the rage in my eyes. I timed it perfectly. I felt like Dan Marino throwing a deep pass to a receiver. I took two steps back and threw that frozen mug as far as I could. Jason was running barefoot down the street. It was a win-win situation for me. The best outcome is for the glass to hit him in the head,then shatter, and cut him up when he falls on the broken glass. The second best outcome is for the glass to shatter in front of him so he runs over the glass barefoot. Sadly neither happened but it was close. He ran towards me to fight me but then we just laughed about it.
It's party time! People I've never met before in my life show up. It's not looking good for me cause the word spread like a California wild fire about this kick ass party. I went outside and some guy I didn't know was smoking out of a coke can in my driveway. I told this crazy guy he was gonna get us thrown in jail. When everyone left, Ted helped me clean up and attempt to get the house back to normal.
My parents got home and everything was looking good. Step father didn't notice anything. He got on the treadmill so I took a deep breath and smiled. Two seconds after my victory grin, my mother says hey Gary come look at this. She says I know you partied down cause the fans are on high everywhere in the house. The fans give it away but what really gives your ass away are the two Bud lights in the kitchen drawer. I look at the fork and spoon drawer, and 2 bud lights are there saying hi mom! Jason got me back in the worst way. NIGHTMARE ON ELMEER STREET!
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