As soon as I got off of work, I got my stuff together and started driving to Bay Saint Louis. My family lives right on the beach, so it's good to get away from the bullshit sometimes. About ten minutes into driving, some squirrel that drives worse than Helen Keller is driving an 18 wheeler. This guy pulls right in front of me and I slam on my brakes. Shit is about to get real. At first I laid on the horn for 20 seconds. 20 seconds is a bit excessive, but this guy is about to get his head slammed in the door of his own truck. This blimmet sees that all I want to do is pass him up, so he drives slower and slower.(ON PURPOSE) Now it's time for a white trash beating to occur. To make things worse, this asshole throws a bottle down and finally gets in the right lane. I run over the glass and pull right in front of him.Next I slam on my brakes and this guy gets what he deserves. He ran off the side of the road onto the shoulder and all the cars behind him think he did it all!
We finally arrive at the yacht club. It's time to eat and get wasted! The bar was really packed so we got a table in the front. The food was great and it was now time to get completely hammered at the bar upstairs! After a few drinks my brothers showed up with their friend Pitalios. This dude looks like tayler and tyler morphed into one. I'm in the middle of talking to them about Vine videos,and this guy that used to cut my hair 12 years ago literally teabags my knee. I know I say the word teabag way too much, but this shit really happened! I was sitting on a stool and he teabagged my fucking knee! It was terrible! I felt like Jerry Sandusky's son!Not exactly like his son but minus the shower and butt pain.
The next day we all go to Gulfport to eat at Fridays and go see a movie. My brothers always get the same damn thing. Buffalo boneless wings is all they want on the menu. The waitress was terrible. This bitch didn't try to refill our drinks and I'm always a great tipper. Finally I get mad and look over and see this squirrel texting on her phone at the other end of the bar. We are at a table in the bar area and can see her sucking at life in real time. It's like a supper doppler radar but for people that will amount to nothing in life. I walk over to the bar tender and tell her can we get some refills I don't want to bother our waitress that blows because she's texting. The bar tender looks over and says wow I'm sorry I'll help you out. She brings us our drinks and then our waitress doesn't even notice that the bar tender is now doing 2 jobs! It doesn't get worse does it? O yes it fucking does. Little miss text at work finally brings me the bill after I had to ask for that too. She has the testicular fortitude to write thanks Jen! I look at the receipt and realize it's time to get real. Right nexrt to her name I write Douchebag. Now the receipt says thanks douchebag Jen! Above the receipt i wrote: keep texting! I still tipped this blimmet 12 bucks!
The twins decide they want bowling instead of a movie,so Tayler closes us on going to the most run down blowing alley in the USA! The ball return was pretty fast but the kitchen was full of the hills have eyes people! One girl caught an attitude if you asked a question so you know I had a great time with that. This place charges a dollar everytime you use your card instead of cash. I asked her why was the dollar charge necessary and she rolled her eyes at me. At that moment I wanted to stick her arm in the deep fryer but instead I went back to my lane. I got the lightest bowling ball and threw it as hard as I could right down the middle for a strike! We had a great weekend and I think Pitalios won the last game.
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